Thursday 2 August 2007

heathrow is the only way to stop alchol fuelled rampages by brits


Government ministers joined forces with colleagues around the world in applauding Heathrows long queues and arduous security procedures.

"it is clear that without the lengthy delays, more Brits could get abroad to wreak havoc in historic and picturesque locations", a BAA spokesperson said.

The rise in hen and stag parties, plus a solid base of football related hooliganism has long put Britain a the forefront of loutish behaviour when abroad. but in a secret plan heathrow was made such an awkward mechanism to leave the country thousands of potential trouble makers stayed at home.

Pensioner groups were outraged that British pensioners were left to feel the effect of loutish gangs. Mr Fred Murray of help the aged said "whilst i applaud the lengths at which the government and airports have gone to, i must say i am not happy. AND NEITHER ARE PENSIONERS"

one leading government watchdog said, "we are not appalled by these measures and quiet frankly they have been a long time coming, answering pensioners group - OAPS ARE NEVER HAPPY"

heathrow management breathed a huge sigh of relief, the top team assembled from Enron and Barings banks, are glad that someone has used their inevitable and excellent skills of being a bit shoddy.

"we feel vindicated and finally appreciiiated", said their misspelled press release.

No comments: