Foot in mouth virus originated in government lab: video gamers feel vindicated

As news that the recent outbreak of foot in mouth disease originated in a government run lab has vindicated the beliefs of millions of video gamers.

"shady government labs are doing this all the time, and the fact it has finally surfaced in the mainstream media is a vindication for all of us gamers", said 16 year old Gavin McBride. "for years i have chosen not to go out with girls, go outside, or even wash, preparing relentlessly playing resident evil just in case such an event took place".

actress Millay jellyfish, is on stand by as the worlds premier qweller of random viral outbreaks. "i am ready to kill them all - what ever they may be or whatever."

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Dr Barry Burlington, author of the controversial "you know governments? they are fucking with your heads" has spoken out. "maybe I'm a paranoid crackpot or maybe the government is doing things it shouldn't. this super virulent strain of foot in mouth disease has been engineered in a lab and released onto an unsuspecting world. it was carried by a vicious killer monkey, driven wild with rage at its social faux pas, this monkey then went round biting people after being sent berserk by a particularly frustrating round of pictionary - maybe this is true."



in short this country is outraged that the rambling musings of a few fringe nut jobs was ignored for so long, and following this trend of adolescent male fantasies coming true is waiting in anticipation for the fabled Jordan, cheeky girl, vordermann and kaplinsky lezz up.