exams are getting easier, as former toddlers get record results

Britain's exam system is in crisis today as thousands of children got A*'s.

"all of these children were just toddlers a few years ago, and yet they can pass these exams", said increasingly desperate Tory front man David Cameron, "it is ludicrous that even children can pass these exams".

The range of outrage was only equalled by sullen teenagers saying that, "they weren't bloody kids, ok?", and "god you just don't understand do you?!".

There is a serious problem with any education system that lets a massive oversight like this happen, and according to a recent Daily Mail poll, exams were harder when they were known by only one initial like an O or A level.

"the modern multi-initial exams GCSE and AS level are overly lettered", said Prof McShane BaHons, Ma(Cantab), PhD, KBE, adding, "At this rate children who are 6 or 7 years old now will be passing these so called 'exams' within just 10 years".

The final words go to shadow education spokesman Hugh Dafark, "if these kids are so clever how come none of them have jobs?".