china says 99% of exports safe - but we make 100 billion things

red faced business general Ho Xi Shen today admitted whilst 99% of things from china were safe 1 billion other things weren't.

"since china became a manufacturing colossus in the late 80's we have been making most things safe, if not always safely. the problem is we make so much something is going to slip through the net, Shen began. "It does appear that there is some billion products with problems though".

consumers worldwide are questioning every consumer good around them in a bid to find the billion products

"i ate my razor this morning, and that wasnt good. i may sue china", said an outraged American, "when i ate a good old American made razor the blades would fall off in my mouth, not causing too much internal damage"

an irate mother has formed a group for irate mothers to burn all Chinese products in a Nuremberg style bonfire.

"i don't care what the toxic fumes from burning a mixed pile of unknown chemical and physical products will do to my children - and that's china's fault. i hope they are happy".

shen has stated that the billionth consumer to find the last dodgy product will be given a state funeral.