why return now.... because it appears antifactual is now reality

a real interview, with a real mp

antifactual is needed

[green] back boris

The Conservative Party has hit political gold, or should they say green with new London Mayor hopeful Boris Johnson.

"The slogan "back Boris" has been made with the concept of him being environmentally green and his aristocratic background, with his key demographic of supporters being fans of 80s kids TV resulting in a slow unveiling of him as baron greenback of dangermouse fame", said a clearly debriefed secretary.

Boris said, "I have green ideas, like removing buses, which needlessly mean over 100 people can use one vehicle, and could actually result in them using over 100 individual vehicles - genius because most of them are too poor to buy a car!"

Dangermouse has said, "He is a coward - green back and yellow belly"

"Political Theft: Problem Sorted" says Blair

Former PM and shiny in the States politician Tony Blair, has spoken out for the first time since leaving office - on the issue of pinching ideas.

"I know the Tories feel that we [Labour] have pinched their ideas about tax - but seriously look at Cameron he stole my entire f*cking act!", the 6 foot politico said.

"I mean the cheek of it, yeah policies come and go, but me I'm a one off. its very disconcerting that they ripped me off, lock stock and barrel."

Prof Moriarty of North West Uni said, "he has a point".

"im an eeejit not an idiot" says bob geldof

"i have had enough of people calling me and idiot - its pronounced eejit!" said the unwashed father of annoying DJ peaches.

"people may not like my politics, buts that's because they eat panda cub sandwiches covered in crude oil, they may not like my music and that's because they have heard other music - all of which is inevitably better but i am not an idiot."

The confused tirade of abuse was directed at a paparazzi as Sir Bob left a trendy London night spot where his daughter peaches was getting canned for another lack lustre Djing performance. music industry insiders say that despite sir bob having the largest collection of Michael flatly LPs known to man she has not played a single one, leading to poor reviews.

Lib Dems need Iraq

Sir Minty Campbell has admitted that, "without Iraq we are policy less", he went on to shock many media commentators by saying, "and i think about wearing a toupee".





In what many see as a diversionary tactic Sir Minty has decided to make his lack of hair the number one Lib Dem issue, if there is any change in Iraq.





"For years we have now been using Iraq as a catchall euphemism to demonstrate frustration with Labour, we didn't really bother with any other policies. So if there is a UK troop withdrawal we have nothing, nada, nyet, zip, bubkis", said Campbell.





Sarah Teether, the child prodigy of Westminster, aged 13, said, "I think that Thir Minty hath a point. But we still have lotsth of polithies - like the fact he may wear a wig. we should make the next general electiona referndum to the people on minty'th toupee." The saliva tornado continued by saying, "itsth justht not fair, I'm going to sthcream."

The Shadow shadow defence spokeman, Slimebit Opik said, "I may go over there as an insurgent instead of campaigning this time, quite frankly eee- eee- eeking it out is my only hope.

A yougov poll has today but Sir Minty's toupee 5 points higher than Sir Minty himself.

EU Referendum question decided

British politics is now set to face a public referendum on the EU. In an unprecedented move the question for the ballot has been decided and published early to start an "open, frank debate without jingoistic prejudice", said one commentator.

The question is, "Do you think we can trust the French?"

"it is great to see that a modernising attitude has swept the nation, a multicultural nation of Britain ready to embrace a new identity as Europeans, as well as our rich and much envied traditional notion of nation", said eddy izzard, pro European lifestyle genius.

The Daily Mail has set up an expected NO vote campaign, and aligned itself with most the of Conservative Party. Their front line anti foreign spokesman said, "for a long time now we have taken a complex issue of EU integration and explained it in terms couched in thinly veiled racism and prejudice." Mr Brampton continued, "I asked one man if he wanted to join Europe and he said 'no i don't like garlic' - he is now heading up the EU report task force".

Tory leader David Cameron is said to be angry at Tory party hard liners who want the question to include the much more complex issue of the Germans. Desperate Dave said, "I have a BMW can't we forgive and forget. I'm not going to send back my bang and olufsen hi fi either- no matter how much lord cashcroft bullies me".

Lord cashcroft, paymaster general of the Tory party, said, "I have told him that bang and oflusen are danish".

It looks like the question of the EU will run and run, with many Britain's embracing this new philosophy of open minded debate - with no problems whatsoever.

slaughter of sacred cow commentary fails to hit the middle ground

As another sacred cow is slaughtered at a temple in wales commentary on the issues fails to hit middle ground, and remains lodged at hyperboly or apathy. One person at the temple compared the experience to Nazi raids during the holocaust and one local said he was having steak for dinner.

The complete lack of middle ground views, or 'concern', has struck commentators as odd. one media talking head has said, "i don't understand the issue but i accept they emotion within it - the steak jokes are in bad taste. "