Virgin media slams slow broadband users

The battle of broadband heated up today with Virgin media attacking slow broad band speeds and even slower broadband users.

A spokesperson said, "Research out today from Which? says there is a gap between the promises made by suppliers and the actual speed achieved". but then went on to say, "lets face it in most cases its academic really isn't it?"

"slow broadband users have been clogging up our network with inane behaviour. for instance searching for Google on Google. i mean honestly one call to our help desk involved a woman who was caught in the inescapable maze that is the Richard and Judy web site for 17 hours. we called in the fire brigade."

DR soreness McGuire's seminal research paper "porn and the Internet" disclosed that if not for the draw of smut fuelled adolescent porn hunger the Internet would grind to a halt. "with all business use being diverted onto face book without porn we would be left in a cyberspace filled with pensioners and window lickers - something must be done"

sky has not commented fearing that any suggestion of educating its users would go against the aims and objectives of parent company news international.